Top 10 Dark Souls bosses

A couple of weeks ago I've decide to do a top 10 boss fights of each Souls game. A couple of days ago I did top 10 boss fights from Demon's Souls. Now it is turn for first Dark Souls to receive the same treatment. Dark Souls is my favorite Souls game and it is in top 3 of my all time favorite games. This is in the large part based on the fact that Dark Souls (DLC included) had some of the most memorable boss fights of any game. So without further ado lets start with the list.

10. Seath the Scaleless

     Much like Old Hero from Demon Souls (who was number 10 on my top 10 bosses from Demon Souls) Seath is also blind. However his moves are much more calculated and it seems that he is much more aware of your presence than Old Hero was. For most this might have been one of the easiest fights of the game, but for me it was really hard. however this was mostly my fault since I pretty much haven't invested any souls in humanity stat, so my curse resist was pretty low, which for the majority of the game wasn't that big of a problem. That was until I came upon this motherfucker. He has a breath attack which carries curse status effect and it is unblockable since it comes from beneath the player. He will also use his tail if you are trying to do some damage from his back, and if zou are in front of him he will bend and swipe with his arm. He also has a crystal wave attack that covers majority of the area wher you fight him, and this attack made me die so many times from curse that is not even funny.

    I've played many games that have dragons in them but none of them looked so weird and unique as Seath. The fact that he has no scales and that he is so skinny that you can see his ribs makes him very creepy looking.

9. Capra Demon

     One of the most annoying boss fights early on that almost made me quit the game all together. That was until I figured out the trick to beat this boss. 

    Capra Demon is very weird looking boss wielding two big ass swords that deal massive damage. Usually boss fights in any souls game take place in large or big areas, however this one takes place in a small corridor which makes proper dodging really hard. On the top of that there are two demon hounds that immediately charge at you once you enter the area, they can get really annoying if you don't kill them early on and fast. The trick to this fight is to exploit stairs that are neatly placed in the boss area.

8. Bell Gargoyles

     This boss fight was so memorable that it found its way into Dark Souls II. In Dark Souls II they were the bosses of optional area Belfry Luna, here you will face with five of them (not at the same time) as oppose to two from this game. Most people describe this boss fight as the place where Dark Souls actually start by providing the most challenging fight early on.

    When the boss fight starts you are fighting just one gargoyle which doesn't seem like much of a challenge at first, but eventually another one shows up and things get a bit trickier. I somehow manage to beat this boss on my first try. I guess I was just well prepared for this fight since I did some grinding beforehand. I had the Drake Sword and a very good shield which made this fight so much easier for me. If you are fast enough and if you have Drake sword you can actually kill him before the second gargoyle shows up. I didn't actually do that but I took a great chunk of his health. Even if you didn't take that much health from the first you should focus your attacks on that one to take him out as fast as you can since managing two gargoyles at the same time can prove to be very challenging. They will not leave you much room to take estus flask so you would have to mindful of that as well. 

7. Chaos Witch Quelaag

    Quelaag is the boss that you will encounter after going trough a shit stain that is Blighttown. After all the frustration that Blighttown caused me this fight was actually quite interesting, refreshing and overall enjoyable. Quelaag is the daughter of the Witch of Izalith, and for some reason she is fused with a spider. Spider part usually attacks with lava by spewing it from the mouth or releasing it from the side of its body. Spider can also side stomp with his legs, however spider's most damaging attack is the roar which is usually combined with lava spew or strike from Quelaag's sword. Qualaag on the other hands wields a sword and her attack are consisted of stabs and swipes, occasionally she will do a 3 move sword combo.

    Quelaag can prove to be a very formidable foe. Keeping an eye on the lava that remains some time on the ground and avoiding or blocking Qualaag's sword attacks can sometimes be very overwhelming. When you are fighting the boss that has several attack patterns it can be very challenging (but also fun) task to learn all of that bosses tells. This was one of more exiting fights of the game for me since I was constantly low on health, and I tried to conserve estus flasks as much as possible. Great fight indeed.

6. Gravelord Nito

    Often times when you fight a boss in Dark Souls you don't really know what to expect or what is the best way to kill that boss. Right from the get go your focus should be the skeletons that are in the area. By this point in the everyone should have probably figured out that using divine weapon will make skeletons not raise again once you drain all of their health.

    Nito is a weird looking motherfucker; his entire body is comprised of skeletons. He wields a large sword that can do a ton of damage; however his attacks are predictable and slow so they will give you ample opportunity to prepare for them. Aside from sword attacks he will occasionally try to grab you. It can be easily avoided by watching his tells and dodging at appropriate moment. Finally he has miasma attack, he basically starts to glow and after a brief time he will release a shockwave which aside from dealing a high damage can also stagger you. When he starts to glow the best strategy is to run as far from him as humanly possible. Having a shield that has a high magic resist can be very useful for this fight.  

    I enjoy fights that pose fair challenge and this one is definitely one of those. One of the fun things to do in Dark Souls is figuring attack patterns of bosses and learning what is the best and quickest way to kill them. That is why this boss fight is at number 5. 

5.Black Dragon Kalameet

     This is where we enter the territory of Dark Souls one and only DLC Artorias of the Abyss. As you can see by the rest of the entries on this list this DLC provides some of the best and hardest boss fights you will encounter in first Dark Souls universe, insert Black Dragon Kalameet a cool looking black dragon that only has one eye.

    Being that he is an optional boss from this DLC, you might end up playing trough entire DLC without even encountering him which happened to me on my first playtrough. His fog door only appears after some prerequisites. Kalameet forces you to constantly be on the move and circle around him. He has a lethal charge attack and breath attack that usually come without the warning so staying away from his front will allow you to more easily dodge his attacks. Figuring all of his attacks and dodging them requires a lot of practice and lets face it a lot of deaths. In order to beat him you must be a master dodger. Using a shield is also an option, however don't even try to use your small ass shield, heavy shield with high stability is your only option if you are willing to beat him and you are not that good at dodging.
    Kalameet is arguably the boss with the biggest arsenal of attack ranging from different breath attack (which deal magic damage), forward charges, head wipes, diving attacks and tale attacks. He will also occasionally do an attack where he will emit telekinetic field in front of him. If you get caught in that field you will take double damage for a short period of time.
    Needless to say this is a very difficult boss fight (which is the case with pretty much every boss from this DLC. 

4. Sif, the Great Grey Wolf

    Sometimes the simplest looking bosses are the most intriguing and collest looking one. Siff is a big direwolf that holds a giant sword in his mouth which he uses to attack you. You should try sticking to his legs as much as possible. You will be able to do a lot of damage before he jumps back and starts attacking again. Definitely one of the easier bosses, especially if you fight him somewhat later in the game like I did. The best way to avoid being hit with his sword attacks is by dodging towards him which will allow you enough time to deal some damage to him. His attacks can be blocked easily but they drain a lot of stamina.

   The interesting thing about this fight is that he doesn't really want to fight you. He can be found in Darkroot Basin guarding the grave of his master, Knight Artorias. In order to progress to the next area of the game is by getting the ring that is next to the grave, and the only way to obtain that ring is by fighting him. You can see in his introduction cut-scene that he is reluctant to fight you, but after seeing that there is no other way for him to protect his master's grave than to fight you. Usually the boss fights fill me with joy and sense of accomplishment, this one filled me with sadness.

 3. Knight Artorias

    Easily one of the most badass characters of any game Artorias is one of th true legendary figures of Dark Souls lore. He was one of the Gwyn's (final boss) Four knights. He was known as one of the best Gwyn's soldiers that was proven his battle skill during the fall of New Londo. Artorias led the way with his wolf Sif (number 4 on my list). When the township of Oolacile came under threat of Manus. His power overcame him, but he managed to save Siff from the same fate. That is why Siff guards his grave in Darkroot Basin. Artorias of the Abyss DLC takes place in the time before the events of Dark Souls, and when you come to face Artorias you will notice the once proud knight that has succumbed to dark corruption.
   You fight Artorias in a large area that is reminiscent of Colosseum. Knight Artorias is one of the most challenging Dark Souls bosses. Around the battlefield he will move rather slow, but his attacks are on the contrary very fast. He will often perform lunge attack with his greatsword and this is probably the best moment to attack him. Once he performs his lunge attack, you will have to roll towards him but slightly on the side of his unarmed hand, there you can try to slash at him once or twice. He also has a powerful and fast leaping attack, which he will often spam so I wouldn't suggest attacking him when he is performing this leap. He also performs your regular sword slashes. Also while he moves he will leave black sludge behind him that will slowly deplete your health, which will disappear after a very short time. He will occasionally trow this sludge. He is one of the rare bosses that can roll in order to dodge your attacks. Once you take away half of his health he will surround himself with dark aura, which essentially amplifies the damage he deals. 

2. Manus, Father of the Abyss

    Some of the best boss and hardest boss fights from first Dark Souls come from its DLC Artorias of the Abyss. Manus is for me the most intimidating looking foe of entire Souls game franchise

    He is the final boss of the DLC and appropriately so has the highest HP of all Dark Souls bosses. What I really like about this boss is his design, he is definitely one of the most unique and badass looking bosses. His left hand is much bigger than his right one, most of his attacks are done with his big ass hand. In his other smaller he holds a staff which he will use with his jump attack which will toss you back if you are blocking. He also will occasionally do a three-hit combo and a six-move combo. Best strategy is to simply circle strafe from his three-hit combo. This wouldn't be the last and one of the hardest boss fights if he didn't have magic attacks. When his over sized hand glows he will use one of his dark magic attacks.
    Generally speaking I don't usually use summons in any Souls games. I usually try to tough it out and beat the bosses purely based on my skill and nothing more and nothing less. This boss fight has probably one of the biggest oh my god moments as far as summoning goes. Remember Sif (number 4 on my list), well you get to summon him. Granted he is much smaller than in instance when you fight him and he probably won't help you as much as you might think he will. Nevertheless it is one of the coolest boos fight moments.

1. Dragon Slayer Ornstein &Executioner Smough

   Lets face it y'all probably saw this one coming. This boss fight is pretty much in top three if not number one on any list with top 10 Dark Souls bosses. However it wasn't an easy choice. I was for some time thinking of putting Manus at number one. In the end the prevailing factor was the difficult of the fight where Ornstein and Smough took the cake. From the get go the two bosses appear at once (with Bell Gargoyles fight at first you fight one but later another one appears) one that is much slower but deals a lot of damage (Smough) and one that is much faster whose hits don't do as much of damage (Ornstein)
    Usual way to deal with the boss fight which includes multiple enemies is by focusing on killing one of them so that you can even your chances up. That is what your strategy should be in this case as well, however any damage that you deal to the other one is pretty much useless because there is a twist. Once you kill one of them the other one will absorb the power of the other and regain any health that you've taken away from him, also his HP raises. You will essentially fight a more powerful version of the boss that you didn't initially kill. Smough will get lightning power from Ornstein (if Ornstein was killed firs) and Ornstein will become much larger absorbing the largeness :) of Smough. If you tought that fighting two bosses at the time was hard wait until you have to fight a more powerful version of one of them. For me many people this is make it or break it fight, so much so that several people i know fond this fight so hard that they've actually quit. For me this was the hardest fight of the game, but after a bunch of tries and help from a summoned NPC I finally prevailed. Beating the boss (or in this case bosses) never felt so satisfying and rewarding.
    Also the back-story of the two is kind of interesting and there is some interesting fill the blanks stuff going on. If you kill Smough first Ornstein will absorb his power by gently (lovingly?) touching Smough. But if you kill Ornstein first Smough will basically crush Ornstein with his large hammer and thus absorbing his lightning power.

Top 10 Demon's Souls bosses

Souls games are some of my all time favorite video games. Flawless fighting mechanics and challenge that is tough but fair are all of the things that make these games so great to play. Tho bosses are however probably the most memorable impression for any Souls fan. So I've decided to make a top 10 list of my favorite bosses from each of the Souls games that would culminate in a list of my all time favorite bosses out of every Souls game. First one up is as title suggest Demon's Souls. This one I've only played when it came out, and for some reason I was never compelled to return to playing it again all the way trough, so my memory of this game is pretty vague. However I really had to scratch my brain and consult wiki just to remember all of the bosses from this game in order to make a proper list.


10. Old Hero
It doesn't happen that often in games that you get to fight a boss that is actually blind. He is definitely one of the easiest boss of Deamon's Souls. Even though he is blind it is important not to get careless in this fight, since he can still hear you. Granted his attacks are savage and uncalculated. However simply because of his uniqueness he deserves to be on this list.

9. Penetrator

Penetrator is one badass looking motherfucker wielding a long Penetrating Sword that glows blue during his every blow. He has several long sweeping attacks that deal massive damage. His thrust attack is particularly devastating, but his other offensive maneuvers are rather slow. This fight can be made much easier if you've released Biorr in previous level. He doesn't deal a lot of damage but serves well as distraction to Penetrator. This boss fight will most definitely challenge your rolling skills.

8. Maneater





Or better yet Maneaters are twin demons who are chimaera-like beast in appearance. They have a body body of the beast, bat wings, a serpent in place of a tail. At the start of this boss fight there is only one Maneater, but after about a minute another will join the fight. Their attacks consist of swipes and lunge attacks while on surface. When flying the serpent affixed to a Maneater's back can spew magic as a ranged attack. The serpant will at time bite into the Maneater self-buffing him with magic energy.
Maneater is definitely one of the creepier looking bosses, which is supported by a creepy music that follows this boss fight. 

7. Fool's Idol
Definitely one of the more interesting boss fights in Demon's Souls. This is one of those bosses that duplicates itself, and in order to actually take out bosses health you have to find the real one (fake ones disappear with one hit). Fool's idol attacks can create green runes on the floor that will paralyze the player as soon as you touch it. She attacks you by trowing a powerful lightning spell at you. The overall atmosphere and the music in this boss fight is top notch. Also the story behind this boss is pretty interesting.
Souls games definitely have a thing for churches and idea of blindly following someone. This boss fight is best showcase of the latter.

 6. Storm King 
Throughout the Shrine of Storms area you will be taunted by creatures that look like flying manta rays, so naturally a boss of this area is a giant version of these manta rays, the Storm King. He attacks you by trowing this large homing spears. Aside from actual boss you will have to deal with a bunch of his minions. It is suggested to first deal with them before attacking the actual boss. The key to this fight is in finding a sword called Stormruler, which will make this fight much easier. This sword emits huge bursts of razor wind, tearing through enemies that are far away. Using this sword feels so rewarding and makes this boss fight very enjoyable. However if you come into this fight without said sword, the only way to defeat this boss is by ranged attacks (magic and arrows). Definitely on of the more unique fights, and as far as I remember the only boss that you can't attack with your regular close combat weapons.  

5. Tower Knight

Tower knight is probably one of the most intimidating looking bosses in Deamon's Souls, but actually he is not actually all that hard. The key to this fight is to first take out archers positioned around the battle arena. Tower Knight has some really powerful attacks, shield bash in particular being the one that can lead to your quick demise. I died a bunch of times before finally figuring out that you should try to stay behind him throughout the fight and keep attacking his ankles. Eventually he will topple down, then you should attack his head and soon you will notice that you are taking a big chunk of his health. It is always satisfying to beat a boss that is way bigger then you, even though at first time it may seem impossible. Definitely one of the coolest looking bosses from Deamon's Souls and that is why he is on this list.

4.Flamelurker
He is completely covered with fire and he attacks you with claws that are capable of emitting energy shock-waves. Being that he is made of fire he deals some damage when you get near him. He can also leap for a very long distances. His weakness is magic, so a weapon that deals magic damage can be very helpful in this fight. His attacks are pretty fast and relentless. I find that some of the best boss fights of the souls series are those that involve bosses that are very agile. Halfway trough the fight he stops moving from quite some time, because he is actually powering up becoming much more ferocious for the rest of the fight. Flamelurker can be very difficult boss if you are not that well equipped and not that good at dodging. This boss provides a great challenge that makes it very fun to fight against.

3. Old Monk

The fight with the old monk is one of those fights that really took me by surprise. What I initially thought was a simple one on fight on fundamental level turns out to be much more than that. The twist here is that Old Monk (if you are playing online) is actually controlled by human player. Anyone who dabbled in PvP knows how unpredictable these fights can be. And that is what makes this boss fight so great. Depending on the skill of the player you are fighting this can either be one of the easiest or one of the hardest fights of the game. If you fight this boss multiple times every encounter can be drastically different. That is why this is one of the more unique fight of Deamon's Souls.

2. Maiden Astraea

As far as this fight goes it is not that much about fight, since well you don't really fight Astraea. You actually fight her bodyguard, Garl Vinland. The fight with Garl can be surprisingly tough; however he can be bypassed since he guards a shortcut to Astraea. You can either take a longer route or wade through monster ridden, plague infested swamp land (which will lead to almost certain death). I’ve chosen the shortcut and killed Garl. Once you kill him you will approach Astraea. After a short speech she will admit that she can't protect herself any longer and she commits suicide. This boss fight will probably make you consider your actions and wonder if you are the bad guy in this case.
This boss fight is this high on this list mainly because of the story behind it.

1. Old King Allant

Finally at number one is Old King Alliant. This was for me the most challenging boss fight that took me probably the most tries to get trough. He typically uses attacks in rapid succession, not leaving you much time to heal. The only breathing time you will have is when he uses one of his stronger attacks since he pauses for a moment before attacking again. He also has a signature move Soul Drain that deals high amount of damage and also removes last stat point reducing your characters Soul Level by one. There are no particular tricks to this fight. You will pretty much have to rely solely on your skills that will definitely be put to a test.
This boss is also known as False King since he is not the real Alliant. He is actually one Arch Demons (which are the strongest of the Old One's servants) which you need to defeat in order to face the real Alliant.

Difficult games

I was asking myself this question over and over again, does the difficulty of the game affect the enjoyment of the game, and if it does how big is that affect. Usually when people talk about difficult games the conversation about what is the most important element of the game revolves around gameplay, story or graphics. While difficulty can be put under the category of gameplay it is definitely something that should be analyzed separately.

For me personally I pretty much always default to normal difficulty, and if the game gets to easy I would bump it to higher difficulty. Generally speaking I don't really crave a whole lot for a challenge in a game. I just don't wont to get in a situation where a game's difficulty can become a big hindrance to my completion of particular game. Of course if the game doesn't have a choose difficulty element than you just have to deal with in game difficulty. And there we get to main reason that I started this article, hard games. Not ones that you can bump up difficulty but ones that are difficult by design. First games that come to mine were those from Souls series (Demon Souls and Dark Souls I and II). Souls games are easily some of my favorite games, with first Dark Souls being in the top 3 of my all time favorite games list. Usually when people talk about Souls games they usually talk about their difficulty. I know a lot of people who gave up playing this game after couple of hours since they found it frustratingly difficult.

Are Souls games really that difficult? A simple answer would be yes, but the best part about its difficulty is that is not unfair. What I mean by that is that I rarely died in this game in a cheap way. I mostly died because I was either too greedy in particular fight, completely unprepared or I wasn't focused enough. Every death was a great learning experience for me in the long run. It is a game about learning enemy patterns, being patient and knowing when is right time to strike or block. The fight mechanics in these games are some of the best of any action adventure game and they should be considered a template for other games in this genre. However the level of difficulty of these games is what made them famous, and what built rabid community around these games. But are they really the most difficult games that you'll ever play. Those people that gave up early would say yes, others who completed it like myself would say no. People usually forget those really old NES games that are really hard, just try completing Contra without any cheats (so no Contra code involved).

For the most part games on early consoles didn't have the choice of difficulty, so when you encounter a really difficult game sometimes the only way to complete it was to resort to cheats or Game Genie. Those really brave would go trough all the adversity and complete the game or just give up all together. I don't remember when was the last time I gave up on modern game due to its difficult, those that got really difficult I just simply switched to easy. I couldn't do this whit older game which led resulted in many older games that I haven't completed. Battletoads obviously comes to mind, that is probably the most difficult game I've ever played.

And lets not forget the likes of Ghosts 'n Goblins. I've actually finished this game, but as you probably know once you complete it once the game sends you back to beginning and once you complete it one more time you will get the true ending. I was so pissed off that I simply gave up and never finished this game. Ninja Gaiden was one of those series that was notorious for being very difficult. I have only played only NES one and I didn't complete that one, so that kind of put me off the series.  Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (NES) is also one of those extremely hard games, it is one of those games that was unfairly difficult. It had one of those notoriously hard levels (see the video bellow), that was so frustrating that it made so many people gave up on it.

And then you have those games that are very difficult even on the lowest difficulty. The most notorious example of this was Devil May Cry 3: Dante's Awakening. Capcom actually made Japanese hard mode of this into normal mode for European market. Later on when the game was re-released with the original normal difficulty. The game was extremely difficult regardless of which version and which difficulty you had played it on. Generally speaking every game in this series is hard but this one stands out as the hardest one of the bunch.

 Do difficult games put off gamers from buying that particular game. Short answer is sure. It is definitely hard to convince a casual gamer to even consider playing certain game. A lot of people I know simply don't want to buy or even play Dark Souls because it is considered to be one of the hardest modern game. And while Souls games are well advertised and one of the best received games in years they came out, they still don't sell as much as some other big games (like Assassins Creed, COD, Borderlands). You can say that Dark Souls is a game that has a niche crowd and people that like it really like it. Some of other big games have a lot of detractors, game like Dark Souls doesn't have as much. In fact I haven't really heard anything bad about this game aside from ones who consider it so difficult that they gave up on playing it all together. In spite of that it still influenced some games that also strive to achieve the level of fair challenge that Dark Souls provided. One of those games is Lords of The Fallen, while not a bad game it didn't even come close to greatness of Dark Souls.

Bottom line is I really like hard games. It is good to play a challenging game as far as that challenge is fair, and is not consisted of cheap deaths. Dark Souls definitely excels at that, and that is why it is one of my favorite games. While they might me off putting for casual gamers they definitely pose a welcome challenge for hardcore gamers. Triple A games usually play it safe and avoid having very difficult game by design so that they can attract both hardcore and casual gamers as well in order to sell more copies. That is probably the main reason why we don't see many hard by design triple A games. However in indie circuit the difficult games are far more prominent. Games like Bit.Trip Runner and This War of Mine (which I've recently played) show that some of the most difficult games of modern age are indie ones.

Top 10 Treehouse of Horror segments

10. It's the Grand Pumpkin, Milhouse - Treehouse of Horror  XIX

Many people agree that the Simpsons quality started going downhill around its 10th season. And at this point it is pretty clear that nowadays Simpsons seasons are consisted with more bad than good episodes. However every once in a while an episode comes that is truly great, or in this case a segment in Halloween episode. Treehouse of Horror episodes are the only ones that I'm really looking forward and anticipating every year, and one of the best segment from newer seasons is - It's the Grand Pumpkin, Milhouse. This episode parodies Peanuts Halloween special. Millhouse basically play Linus who believes that the Grand Pupmkin exists and that it comes alive on Halloween. Of course the Grand Pumpkin gets pissed when he finds out that humans are carving up pumpkins. Paying a great homage to Charlie Brown's Halloween special this episode manages to bring some truly great laughs. Last couple of minutes of this episode get really crazy. Watching giant pumpkin fighting giant turkey seems like the type of craziness that the Simpsons was known back in the day.

Favorite quote/conversation
Nelson - "Touch me and I'll cut your friend."
The Grand Pumpkin - "What do I care? That's a yellow pumpkin."
Nelson - "You are Racist."
The Grand Pumpkin - "All pumpkins are racist. The difference is that I admit it.

9."The HΩmega Man," Treehouse of Horror VIII

Homer is easily the best character on The Simpsons, so a whole Halloween segment following Homer can't be anything but great (I guess this was only true for first 10 seasons). In this episode The French launch a nuclear bomb towards Springfield, and only one dude is left alive - Homer Simpson. Homer takes advantage if being last man on Earth, however soon we find out that he is not actually last men alive since story goes in zombie territory and Homer gets chased by mutated residents of Springfield. This episode is a parody of movie The Omega Man (based on Richard Matheson's book I am Legend).

Favorite quote/conversation
Herman - "Now, this baby is called 'The Withstandinator.' It can take a six megaton blast. No more, no less."

Comic Book Guy - "But Aquaman, you cannot marry a woman without gills! You're from two different worlds!'' (He sees the nuclear missile headed straight for him.) ''Ohhh, I've wasted my life." 

8. Clown Without Pity - Treehouse of Horror III

Clown Without Pity is a parody of one of my favorite Twilight Zone episodes titled Living Doll. So in this episode the role Krusty the clown doll is equivalent of Talky Tina doll from that Twilight Zone episode. This segment pretty much plays the same way as Living Doll plays out. Krusty doll is constantly trying to kill Homer when no one is in Homer's presence, so naturally no one believes Homer that doll is trying to kill him. This is not the only Twilight Zone spoof that the Simpsons, and among those parodies it is the funniest. What I really like about this episode is the very conclusion which is so stupid that its brilliant (doll was set on evil).

Favorite quote/conversation

Grandpa Simpsons - “That doll is EVIL, I tells ya. EVIL. EEEEEEVVVVIILLLLL.”
Bart - “Grandpa, you said that about all the presents.”
Grandpa Simpsons - “I just want attention…”

7. The Devil and Homer Simpson - Treehouse of Horror IV

In this episode Homer states that he would sell his soul for a donut. The Devil (who is revealed to be Ned Flanders) offers Homer a contact to seal the deal. Homer figures out that if he doesn't eat the entire donut The Devil won't be able to take his soul. Unfortunately while half-asleep Homer eats the final piece of doughnut that he put in the refrigerator. Marge and Lisa plead with Ned not to take Homer's soul getting him to agree to give Homer a trial.
It is a classic Halloween segment that hits all the right notes from Ned Flanders unexpectedly playing the Devil to the trial being held by Jury of the Damned (consisted of Lizzie Borden, Benedict Arnold and the starting line of the 1976 Philadelphia Flyers). Conclusion is very heartwarming since the Devil can't have Homer's soul, because he's already pledged it to Marge. Overall a well rounded Treehouse of Horror segment.

Favorite quote/conversation

Marge - "Homer, stop picking at it."
Homer - "But I'm so sweet and tasty!"

6. Bart Simpson's Dracula - Treehouse of Horror IV

After Bart gets bit by Mr. Burns he turns into vampire. very soon a bunch of Springfield residents turn into vampires. Lisa then figures out that everyone will turn back if she kill the Head Vampire. Aside from being very funny this segment is also very creepy. When I was growing up for some reason this segment really scared me, particularly the scene when Bart was hovering outside of Lisa's bedroom window. And the twist revolving around who is the Head Vampire probably stands as one of my favorite surprises form any Halloween segment. Also Mr. Burns makes an excellent (pun intended) Dracula. 

Favorite quote/conversation

Kent Brockman: "Another local peasant has been found dead, drained of his blood with two teeth marks on his throat. This black cape was found on the scene.'' (The cape reads "Dracula.") "Police are baffled."
Chief Wiggum: "We think we're dealing with a supernatural being, most likely a mummy. As a precaution I've ordered the Egyptian wing of the Springfield museum destroyed."

Lisa - "The only way to get Bart back is to kill the head vampire: Mr. Burns!"
Homer - "Kill my boss? Do I dare to live out the American dream?"

5. Nightmare on Evergreen Terrace - Treehouse of Horror VI

Doing a parody of a movie series that has become a parody of itself seems like a hard work. However Simpsons manage to do a great parodz of Nightmare on Elm Street. After Groundskeeper Willie dies in an accident at a PTA meeting he vows to get revenge on everyone by killing their children. He then takes the role of Freddy and starts hunting children in their dreams. In this Haloween segment is where The Simpsons really got a chance to be really creative. Some of the dream sequences involve some of the most inventive bits of animation that Ive ever seen on The Simpsons. 

Favorite quote/conversation

Marge - "It all started on the 13th hour of the 13th day of the 13th month. We were there to discuss the misprinted calendars the school had purchased."
Homer - "Lousy Smarch weather."

4. Dial Z for Zombies - Treehouse of Horror III

The Simpsons did several zombie parodies over the years, but the best one is easily Dial "Z" for Zombies. This episode starts out as a parody of two classic horror movies Night of the Living Dead and Pet Cemetery, before eventually getting into Simpsons own type of craziness. Doing a riff on zombie movie genre offers a lot of possibilities and this segment didn't disappoint. Some of the funny bits in this segment include all of the different incantations used to revive and destroy the zombies.

Favorite quote/conversation
Homer (while killing zombies) - "Take that, Washington! Eat lead, Einstein! Show's over, Shakespeare!" Zombie Shakespeare - "Is this the end of Zombie Shakespeare?!"

Bart - "Dad, you killed the zombie Flanders!"
Homer - "He was a zombie?"

3. Citizen Kang - Treehouse of Horror VII

Since my major is in political science I really appreciated all of the small in-jokes in this episode regarding election system in the US. Kang and Kodos take over bodies of Bill Clinton and Bob Dole (presidential candidate) in order get elected as president and rule the Earth. This episode parodies in a great way Presidential elections and politics in general. The Simpsons don't really go that often for topical political humor, so it was quite refreshing to see a Treehouse of Horror segment that deals with politics. This episode has plenty of clever moments and funny lines.

Favorite quote/conversation
Kodos (as Clinton) - "My fellow Americans: As a young boy, I dreamed of being a baseball. But tonight I say, we must move forward, not backward, upward, not forward, and always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom."

Homer Simpson: "Don't blame me, I voted for Kodos."

2. Time and Punishment - Treehouse of Horror V

Homer accidentally creates a time machine wile trying to fix a toaster. He then finds out the implications of even smallest changes in the past to a future situation. What Homer does in the past leads to an exploration of some incredible what if scenarios in The Simpsons world. Some of the more memorable present day changes include a giant sized Simpsons family, the sky raining donuts... It is truly an incredible and funny episode that I consider for the longest time as my favorite, but over the time it was bumped to a second place by another segment. 

Favorite quote/conversation

Maggie, speaking in James Earl Jones' voice  -  ''This is indeed a disturbing universe.''

Homer - “OK, don’t panic. Remember the advice your father gave you on your wedding day."
Abe Simpson in Homer's taught bubble - “If you ever travel back in time, don't step on anything, because even the tiniest change can alter the future in ways you can't imagine."

1. The Shinning - Treehouse of Horror V

This segment was the part of what I consider to be the best Treehouse of Horror episode. Often described as best Haloween segment, it is also my favorite Treehouse of Horror segment. This one was the most memorable for me and I have some really fond memories of this particular segment. As title pretty much says it this episode parodies Stanley Kubrick's The Shining, and being that Kubrick's movie is one of my favorite horror movies I really appreciated all of references to that classic. Moe as a ghost, Willie playing a weird version of Dick Hallorann. The Simpsons often do parodies of famous movies but none is better than this one. It is easily one of the most quotable Simpsons Halloween segments.

Favorite quote/conversation

Groundskeeper Willy - "Boy... you read my thoughts! You've got the Shinning."
Bart Simpson - "You mean "Shining."
Groundskeeper Willy "Shh! You want to get sued?"

Homer Simpson - "Well, what do you think, Marge? All I need is a title. I was thinking along the lines of... No TV and no beer make Homer something, something."
Marge - "Go crazy?"
Homer Simpson - "Don't mind if I do!"

Thoughts on 87th Academy Awards

So another Academy Award passed and this one was just OK. There weren't any big surprises, and there weren't any fuck ups either. And to be honest I wanted to see something weird, I wanted to see do something controversial. I plan on doing a list on some of my favorite Oscar fuck ups, so more about that would be in other blog. I did my predictions blog in late January and well I did decently, but I missed the mark on some big categories. Out of 23 categories I got 17 correct. I was wrong on best director and best director, I though that Boyhood was going to win since it received most praise and won most awards prior to the Oscars. However I couldn't be happier that Birdman won, since it was my favorite film of 2014. I was really happy to see it win award in this two category.

 Another big category that I guessed wrong was best actor. We all knew that iw would be between Michael Keaton and Eddie Redmayne. Ive picked Keaton since I enjoyed his performance more, and I also felt that Academy would go with veteran actor who probably wonćt have that many opportunities to win an award. Instead Academy went with Redmayne who gave amazing emotional and physical performance. Other acting categories were not surprising. J.K. Simmons and Patricia Arquette won  awards in their respective supporting categories, and deservedly so. Julianne Moore won for best actress, although I would have preferred if Rosamund Pike had won it.

I also guessed wrong in animated movie category. The fact that The LEGO movie, which I felt was by far the best animated movie, didn't even get nominated really made this category kind of bullshit. I've seen all of the nominees in this category and to be honest the two movies that I liked the most had pretty much no chances of winning - The Tale of the Princess Kaguya and Song of the Sea. I've picked How to Train Your Dragon 2 since it won at the Golden Globes and was getting most of the buzz. And I factored in the fact that Dreamworks is in financial problems and that they really needed that win. At the end of the day it was no surprise that Disney won it for Big Hero 6.

 All of the short subject and technical awards I guessed right, The other two categories I've guessed wrong were best editing for which I choose Boyhood but it went to a movie I preferred for this award Whiplash, and in best original score.
Neil Patrick Harris was a decent host, most of his jokes worked very well although they were a bit on the safe side. Opening music number was decent, even though at this point I'm really tired of those arbitrary musical numbers. The whole running joke thing with the briefcase I really didn't like.
As far as speeches go there weren't any weird ones. Probably the funniest one was the dude that won an award in best foreign film category for Ida. He was being really sincere and funny, but probably the best thing about his speech was that he simply wasn't going away even after music played him off. Eddie Redmayne had probably the most sincere reaction to winning award releasing some really weird sounds of joy. Inarritu who was up on the stage three times and each time he played it really cool and he had a really good speech inserting a joke every once in a while.
As far as fashion goes I'm not really an expert and I can't give an insight on it, but I swear to God J. Lo was wearing the same dress as she was wearing at Golden Globes where that whole thing with Jeremy Renner's joke happened

 Overall it was a good show, it wasn't a train-wreck as far as the host goes but after that year when James Franco and Anne Hathaway anything is a huge improvement. At least there were no cringe worthy moments and I guess that is enough for this type of award show. I was really happy that Birdman won since it has been a long time since a movie I really felt it was the best of that year actually won a best picture.

Favorite Academy Award winning performances - supporting actor

Since Oscars have just finished I decided to highlight some of my favorite winning performances and movies. First up I will highlight some of my favorite performances in supporting category (5 male and 5 female), then in leading roles category and at the end I will do my top 10 favorite Oscar winning pictures. 

5. Heath Ledger (posthumous) - The Dark Knight - The Joker

There hasn't been a transformation that impressed me more that Heath Ledger's performance as the Joker. When it was first announced that he was going to play the Joker everyone was baffled (myself included), sure he had proven himself as a good actor but he didn't seem like a good choice for the role. However once movie came out we were all blown away. He was completely absorbed in the role of the Joker and he was completely unrecognizable. If I didn't know previously that he was going to play the Joker I would have never guessed that it was Heath Ledger playing him. His acting and transformation was that impressive. 

4. Javier Bardem - No Country for Old Men - Anton Chigurh

 No Country for Old Men is my favorite Coen brothers movie. There is not a single bad performance in this movie, but a true standout was Javier Bardem. In this movie he plays serial killer who seems like a quiet dude with a funny hair, but when you see him speak with other people and his demeanor he becomes one of the scariest characters I've ever seen. Scene bellow shows in the best way the weirdness and the greatness of his performance.

 

3. Kevin Spacey - The Usual Suspects - Roger "Verbal" Kint

I put this with one caveat that this is not actually a supporting performance. Seriously no one had more screen time in this movie than Kevin Spacey. This is not the first time that Academy did this. Spacey played this character so well that none of us saw that ending twist coming. Even though his performance was a bit subdued it was still enjoyable to watch. It was a great performance and a well deserved win.

2. Robert De Niro - The Godfather Part II - Vito Corleone

Robert De Niro is one of the finest actors out there, and his performance in Godfather II was one of his more impressive roles. His portrayal of young Vito Corleone is one of those performances that stay with you for a long time. An amazing actor giving a performance for ages, what is there not to like.

1. Joe Pesci - Goodfellas - Tommy DeVito

There isn't a more memorable performance for me than that of Joe Pesci in Goodfellas. Even though this role was tailor made for Joe Pesci it doesn't really take away from its greatness. He managed to make me laugh almost in every scene he was in, but even when he played it seriously he was really impressive. Maybe he didn't have to stretch a lot for this role, but for me this is my favorite supporting actor winning performance.

Top 10 South Park episodes

   Since I did a top 10 of the Simpsons episodes it seems natural to do a top 10 of some other animated shows that I really like. First up - South Park. Unlike the Simpsons South Park managed to stay really good even after so many years. They are still making episodes that can rank up with the classic ones it is just that there are more duds in the last couple of seasons than there were in earlier ones. 

10. The Losing Edge - season 9, episode 5    

    This episode probably won't show up on that many top 10 lists, but for some reason I really enjoyed this episode a lot. Randy Marsh is one of my favorite characters and this episode puts Randy in the spotlight. In this episode the boys try to lose baseball games on purpose so they would avoid playing baseball all summer. However all of the other teams from little league are trying to lose as well. A side plot from this episode revolves around Randy who trains to fight the other fathers at the games. The side plot involving Randy includes some of my favorite Randy moments of the entire show, and this episode gave birth to my favorite Randy line - "I thought this was America." This episode also brings back Kyle's cousin Kyle Swartz, that annoying kid who is pretty much terrible at everything.

Favorite quote/conversation
 

Cartman: At this point in the baseball movie, they usually get a really sweet player to help them win the championship.
Kyle: Like the motorcycle kid in Bad News Bears? 
Cartman: Yeah! So we need a player who totally sucks ass. 

9. 200 and 201 - season 14, episodes 5 and 6

    At number 9 I actually have two episodes since they don't really go without each other. As a celebration of their 200 episode Matt Stone and Trey Parker decided to do a 2 part special, in which they brought back a whole bunch of characters from previous season, biggest highlight being Scott Tenorman. When Stan insults Tom Cruise by calling him a fudge packer. This starts a chain reaction which leads to 200 previously ridiculed celebrities filing a lawsuit against the town of South Park. And when you add ginger kids, Muhammad and Mecha-Streisand to the mix you are sure to see some insanity to the screen. These two episodes reminded me of so many great episodes from previous seasons, it was just amazing to see some of the old forgotten characters. Mephisto that mad scientist who was very prominent in those first couple of season didn't really come up in that many episodes after season 5, so it was cool to see him back since he was one of those side characters that I really liked. Probably the best part of this episode was bringing back of Scott Tenorman and basically going the full circle by revealing him as Cartman's father.  



Favorite quote/conversation

Kyle Broflovski: You see, I learned something today. Throughout this whole ordeal, we've all wanted to show things that we weren't allowed to show, but it wasn't because of some magic goo. It was because of the magical power of threatening people with violence. That's obviously the only true power. If there's anything we've all learned, it's that terrorizing people works.
Jesus Christ: That's right. Don't you see, gingers? If you don't want to be made fun of anymore, all you need are guns and bombs to get people to stop.
Santa Claus: That's right, friends. All you need to do is instill fear and be willing to hurt people and you can get whatever you want. The only true power is violence.

8. Major Boobage - season 12, episode 3

    South Park doesn't try to have parts of the episode in another animation style that often, but when they do they really make something special. Plot of this episode revolves around a new method of getting high - being sprayed with urine from male cats as a defense mechanism. Once Kenny gets high he descends into a surreal world where he is surrounded by breast. This dreamlike segment pays a great homage to that all animated movie Heavy Metal. There were some really imaginative things going in this imaginary world. Soon the new method of getting high (dubbed cheesing) becomes very prominent in the town. The idea of getting high from a liquid that cats produce when they mark their territory is pretty funny to begin with, and they managed to do some interesting things with this idea.

Favorite quote/conversation

Major Boobage: [Gerald is getting undressed to have an affair with Major Boobages Daughter] Hold, You cannot caress My Daughters awesome Boobage!
Gerald Broflovski: Aww, why not?
Major Boobage: There is a Suiter...
[Kenny appears]
Gerald Broflovski: [Angrily] What, get outta here, Kid!
[Kenny flips the bird, and muffles at Him irritably]
Gerald Broflovski: ... no, you're too young for this!
Major Boobage: The Fate of these two will be decided at the Breastry Area in Nippopolis!

7. Cartman Joins NAMBLA - season 4, episode 5

      In this episode Cartman decides not to hang out with other boys anymore. He feels that he is way too mature to play with them, so he seeks a more mature company to play with. By accident he joins NAMBLA (North American Man/Boy Love Association). South Park was always known for being a show that pushes boundaries and really deals with some issues that most other shows never dare to deal with. This time it was pedophilia, and weirdly enough this wasn't the only episode from this season that had something to do with pedophilia.
     Most people will agree that Cartman is the best character of South Park, and usually episodes that have Cartman at their center are most of the time some of the best South Park episodes. This is definitely one of them.

Favorite quote/conversation

Cartman: [chatting with an older man] "I'm eight and a half inches." Whoa, this guy's tiny. He must be a dwarf.
[types]
Cartman: I don't want to be friends with a midget. Midgets piss me off." Frowny-face.

6. The Return of the Fellowship of the Ring to the Two Towers - season 6, episode 13

    South Park did some really great episodes that parody some of the famous movies and Return of the Fellowship is one of the best. The boys embark on a mission to return "The Lord of the Rings" to the Two Towers video store. What they didn't know is that instead of a copy of Lord of the Rings movie they are actually carrying a porn video Backdoor Sluts 9. Butters who actually saw the video becomes entranced by the tape and essentially becomes a Gollum of this story. They are also being chased by 5th graders on bikes who also wanted to get their hands on the porn vid.  The references to the Lord of the Rings are simply great and very imaginative.  

Favorite quote/conversation

Eric Cartman: And so the party journeyed onward: the great Wizard, the skillful Ranger, and the covetous Jew.
Kyle Broflovski: I'm a Paladin, Cartman!
Eric Cartman: Jews can't be Paladins.

5. Good Times with Weapons - season 8, episode 1

    Good times with Weapons is another South Park episode where they did parts of the episode in different animation style, in fact most of the episode is done in Japanese anime style. The boys get "transformed" into Japanese warriors after they buy martial arts weapon at local market. Butters sees the boys and he wants to play with them, but they refuse. He then puts on his cape and helmet in becomes his other persona Professor Chaos. This episode parodies in a great way anime but also in a way pays a great homage to that style of storytelling and animation. I remember that I was really blown away by the animation in this episode. On the top of that this episode was actually hilarious. Watching a simple game that boys have played getting so exaggerated by presenting it in a ridiculous anime fashion was really entertaining. And who can forget that song - Let's fighting love.




Favorite quote/conversation

Cartman: Okay. Go ahead, Kyle. Throw your nun-chucks away. If you can. But you know damn well that your Jewish blood won't let you. You can't throw away something you paid fifteen bucks for. Go ahead and try. Mel Gibson was right, Kyle. Right now the Jew in you is screaming 'No! Those cost money! Get your money back!' You know this to be true. Go ahead. Prove Mel Gibson wrong, Kyle. Do it. 

4. Imaginationland trilogy - season 11, episodes 10-12

    It seems a cheat to put three episodes at one spot but in this case it is justified. I always looked at Imaginationland as a short movie. In fact whenever I watch it I watch it as a whole.
   After Cartman swears that he saw a leprechaun, majority of the kids from the class come to woods in search of said leprechaun. Kyle is of course the one who doesn't believe Cartman's story. Eventually they've found a leprechaun but he disappears. Later on a man takes boys onto his flying machine in order to tell them the truth about leprechaun, and thus brings them to Imaginationland - a place where all of the imaginary critter and people ever imagined lived. terrosts then attack Imaginationland. So it is upt Pentagon to find out who attacked Imaginationland. It all leads up to a big fight between imagination forces of good and evil. Ever since Matt and Trey made South Park Bigger, Longer and Uncut I always wanted to see another feature length movie. I never got one, but this multiple episodes story arcs did a good job of providing me with some great entertainment. From all the hilarious moments from this episode, the most memorable was the part when three of the as they said most imaginative directors are getting interviewed (M. Night, Michael Bay and Mel Gibson). 

Favorite quote/conversation

Military Leader: We need you, M. Night Shyamalan, to come up with ideas to stop the terrorists.
M. Night Shyamalan: What if it turns out, that they aren't terrorists, but that they are werewolves, from the future?
Military Leader: No, they are terrorists, they've been linked to Al Qaeda. 
M. Night Shyamalan: But what if Al Qaeda is the group terrorized, by aliens?
Military Leader: That's not an idea, that's a twist. We need ideas.
M. Night Shyamalan: How about, that we make everyone believe that we are being terrorized, but really, we were already dead.

Eric Cartman: By the way, I should tell you that I haven't had a chance to shower while making my way up here. My balls are.....extra vinegary.

3. The Wacky Molestation Adventure - season 4, episode 16

     This episode is probably surprisingly high on this list, since it is not widely considered to be one of the greatest South Park episodes, but for me this episode is something special. I generally like alternative settings and what if scenarios. In this episode we get to see what happens to town of South Park when there are no parents. In this episodes Cartman gets four tickets for Raging Pussies concert and all of the boys want to go, however none of their parents would allow them to do so. Cartman comes up with a plan to call a police and accuse parents of as his says "molestering". Soon all the kids around the town decide to get rid of their parents in the same way.
      Later on we are introduced to a out of town couple who are having a car trouble and are seeking a help in South Park. There they find out that kids are running the town and lets just say that shit hit the fan. This basically South Park's parody of children of the Corn. In this lets say new South Park kids are fighting over a book, and whoever doesn't have it must sacrifice a tribe member. This is definitely one of the crazier South park episodes.  For me some of the funniest scenes were revolving around the parents and their reeducation in prison about not molesting their children.

Favorite quote/conversation 
Kyle: What's "bad touch"? 
Cartman: Something 'bout a swimsuit, I don't remember, but you definitely answer "bad touch"!

2. Scott Tenorman Must Die - season 5, episode 4

By most of the fans of South Park regarded as a the very best episode of South Park, it is only number 2 on my list. :) There isn't that much to be said about the brilliance of this episode that already hasn't been said. We get to see Cartman get humiliated By Scott Tenorman throughout majority of this episode. And every plan Cartman had to get back at Scott Tenorman backfired. That is until the end. Even up at until that amazing end the episode was pretty funny and interesting, but I believe that the ending of this episode is what truly made it great. We get to see the true evil side side of the Cartman.




Favorite quote/conversation

Cartman: Yes, I'm afraid this isn't your chili, Scott. I switched it with Chef's. It's delicious, Chef. I hadn't planned on that. What I did plan on, however, was that my friends, Stan and Kyle, would betray me and warn you that the Chili Con Carnival was a trap.
Cartman: I assumed that they would tell you that I had trained Denkins' pony to bite off your weiner. What they didn't tell you was that Denkins is a crazy redneck who shoots trespassers on sight. Knowing that you would try and do something to the pony, I warned Mr. Denkins that violent pony killers were in the area. I also knew that you wouldn't go yourself, for fear of having your weiner bitten off. You would most likely send your parents. And, I'm afraid that when Mr. Denkins spotted them on his property, he shot and killed both your parents.
Scott Tenorman: My... mom and dad are... dead?
Cartman: I came just in time to see Mr. Denkins giving his report to Officer Barbrady. And of course, to steal the bodies. After a night with the hacksaw, I was all ready to put on my Chili Con Carnival, so that I could tell you personally about your parents' demise! And of course, feed you your chili. Do you like it? Do you like it, Scott? I call it, "Mr. & Mrs. Tenorman Chili." 

Kyle: Dude, I think it might be best for us to never piss Cartman off again.

1. Make Love, Not Warcraft - season 10, episode 8

    You probably saw this coming, but it is hard to argue against the quality of Make Love, Not Warcraft. This is the episode I've watched about 10 times and each time it makes me laugh really hard. It is consistently funny all the way through. It pokes fun at the on line gaming but it also in a way shows appreciation for this type of game. Interestingly enough Blizzard Entertainment actually collaborated with South Park creators on this episode. They actually crafted the machinima for this episode. In spite of that they didn't really go easy on both them and the game.
    Now that I have finished this list it is pretty clear that I am a big fan of South Park episodes that introduce a new animation style. But it wasn't just that refreshing new animation that makes these episodes great. It was what they actually do with that animation that makes it great. And on the top of that they make them really hilarious. For a while I was going back and forth as far as number 1 and number 2 spots on my list go, but ultimately I went with Make Love which didn't have as interesting of a story that Scott Tenorman had but it was in my book much funnier.

Favorite quote/conversation
Kyle: Wow, look at all these people playing right now! 
Cartman: Yeah, it's bull crap. I bet half of these people are Koreans!